I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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