This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
