OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize