Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
