I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
