never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
