So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
