i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
