There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
