Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm at about main and main street
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
