Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
