Non-Jews are for practice
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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