theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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