I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
