Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
