he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
