I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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