Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
