I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
