WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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