I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
