So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
