Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
