a queef is a wish your heart makes.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
