Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
