that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
