make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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