Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
