It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
