When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize