I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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