So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
