wanna go halves on a baby?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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