I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
