Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
