If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize