I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
