Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
