i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
