I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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