I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
