I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
