Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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