Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he thought i was a dude.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
