She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
