You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
