I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
