? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
