Non-Jews are for practice
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize