It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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