he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
