A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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