I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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