we have officially lost it.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
