We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
