bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
