ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
