he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the day after is always just damage control
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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