The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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