Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
A+ Viking dick
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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