I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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