The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
