East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
